puasa???!!!

this year is somehow quite interesting..first year of fasting with babah in that condition..tahun ni first year anak-anak puasa..klaka juga tengok 2 orang tu...
abang dapat bertahan sampai satu hari even da petang tu nangis-nangis lapar..we were being a little bit cruel on him,,rasanya..sebab paksa dia bertahan...hahaha..whaetever it is anak..this is life..
adik memang tak dapat diselamatkan lagi la..si gemok ni memang degil skit..asik membebel je...'adik ni haus sangat ni..',,'haus..haus',..'adik minum skit je'..hmm sudahnya kul 4.30..allahummalakasumtu...hehehe
but sayang,mummy is so proud of you...bebel pun bebellah..achik tak de peduli...
achik da janji ngan uncle nak cari buluh tahun ni..tapi!! bukan meriam la. seumo idup achik tak pernah tengok rupa meriam buluh tu,,hahahaha
achik paksa uncle buat pelita dari buluh tu..da 2 tahun uncle janji achik..so tahun ni..since kita berdua memang ade kat umah abng...nak tak nak..buat juga..tau!!!
haih..aq pening kpala nak pikir pasal pekerja mase raya nanti..macam mana ni..juz tak nak buat silap..k ah kejap lagi baru pikir..hehe

lost

aq rasa sasau skit hri ni..semua sebab mang la ni...mimpi dia tu, buat dengan aq skali takbole nak fokus dengan kerja aq..mang sila bertanggungjawab..youre the person in charge now.realize it..kan da banyak kerja aq tak le nak buat..sebab tak le fokus! fokus tu penting mang!

tapi betul what mang..bile kite keep on violently being tortured or silently hurt, you know..the person tak tahu that we are hurt..kita akan mula jadi overprotective pada diri kita..memang betul apa yang ko buat tu mang..it will comes to the stage of where we have no interest in hearing or sharing our thought, problems or opinion with others..believe me mang..aq pun hampir da sampai ke situ..to the people that i love, it hard for m to say..'hey watch out..you are hurting me..' or ''i'm hurt'' or'i dont like it when you make me that way''..i always just terima everything and keep to the deepest side of my heart..so that it wont make me feels too frustrated of being treated that way..

bile hati da tak le tahan..tears are the best metod in symbolizing it..aq hnor prasaan aq dgn nagis..macam budak2 kan..haha
tapi itu hakikat..
entahla..maybe it will comes the day of when a savior will com n take me away..secara jujur..aq masih bersyukur dgn apa yang aq ada..mang, black n white is not something that u can classify it as safe..it is juast that youre torturing yorself by denying other excitement that life can brings you..

memang betul, bila kita protect diri kita macam tu, kita rasa kita strong enough to face anyting yang datang..ape org cakap..berduri, ranjau, onak liku???cuma satu.bile kite berhadapan dengannya, especially the trouble that caused us to live this way,, kita sedar,kita masih manusia yang tetap akan berasa lemah kerna masa silamnya..past is a weakness to human..i say yes

how far can i go

emmm.... da amat lama rupanya aq tak buat benda benda alah ni..hehehe..things have become more rusty and complicated..by august, i realized that i got to keep everything on track..a shall go in the first place, then b and c. not c first,d later and a the last one..
latest ni aq ade g meeting..hmm, aq skali lagi jadi macam org terencat yang di hantar ke kalangan cendekiawan...warggghhh aq tak tahu ape yang patut aq buat..aq tak tahu nak buat ape in the middle of para businessmen and businesswomen tu...i said that before that i hat such occasion but yet i was still be sent off..
dari start sampai akhir, aq memang nak jadi separuh gila..aq decided amik seat yang paling depan dan row yang kosong..yeah, alone is better when you know no one that might have the same thoughts as yours..tapi!!!!!
mana aq tau kekawan ayah aq yang degil dan kuat melawan tu nak duduk kat belakang aq..warghhh what a mistake!!!!
first target when i arrived there...'dont be sumbody that attract people attention..no silly mistakes or funny words shall be said today'...but those guys....warghhh semua impian aq jadi mimpi semalam...
aq tau by being a young lady stepping inside the hll itself da buat ramai yang pandang2..tapi aq bukan dealer..umama kata CL, tak bole kira sebab part time..huhu
apakan daya, encik2 tu bukan nak paham...huhu
aq rasa mulut aq da nak krem da..orang kat dpan citer pasal minyak itam enjin diesel yang baru..dia kat belakang sibuk berteka-teki optimus prime pakai minyak itam apa..bos kat depan sibuk cakap pasal mail hq antar suruh naikkan sale lagi..dia bole slamba jawab..'jgn riso bos..semua tempat dapat mail tu...'''adoi la..nangis kalau aq yang jadi rsm..haha
taklimat baru start dia da tak sesabar nak rehat..
however
aq rasa relax lepas g taklimat tu..sebab banyak gelak..macam klaka lak..aq tak sangka yang aq akan berada di tempat cenggitu skag..
tapi tu la aku masih menyimpan impian untuk terbang di awan biru
hahaha